Saturday, March 17, 2007

I just remembered...

A story that I had wanted to tell, but didn't want to broadcast it. Namely, that I have (once again) gone back to Weight Watchers.... I feel more comfortable discussing it here because none of you will be looking at what's on my tray when I come back from the cafeteria at work to eat in my office. Or watch me heating up a Lean Cuisine in the microwave.

Anyway... my sister and I went back about two weeks ago when we were both at my mom's house for the weekend. At the meeting, the leader was telling us about a woman who is in one of her other meetings who was featured in WW magazine this month. She passed the article around, and as it turns out, the woman lost over 100 lbs. One of the women in the group said (out loud) "Wow! She'll definitely get married now!" WTF? What does that even mean?!?!? And? The WW leader agreed with her!

Ugh. It just hit me the wrong way. I hate the idea of women having to validate themselves by their marital status. Or, not even validating themselves, I suppose, but being validated by others. And also how much weight and appearance plays a part in how women are viewed in society. How about "Good for her! Now she'll probably live longer and be healthier!"

I recognize that this is not a new issue. And that in this day and age, between TV, movies, magazines, etc. the bar has been raised to a ridiculous height for what constitutes "beautiful."
So I guess the part that bothered me was to hear that comment from someone who is supposed to be "on our side." It's just the connection that always seems to be placed between weight and beauty.... why?

But since we're on the topic, I'm proud to report that I have lost 6 lbs in my first two weeks back! As you will probably remember, back in the fall when I tried this (again) I wasn't having any success. I was going to meetings at night, which I struggled with; I'd always gone in the mornings before. And maybe my head just wasn't in the right place then. But, I'm back now, and hopefully for the long haul. Because at this point in my life, it is about my health and my comfort and just feeling better about myself.

Also, a Ryan story to relate: For the past couple weeks I've been feeling frustrated with a couple things, one of them being the feeling that while I do a lot for other people (because I really, truly enjoy doing it!!), I don't always feel like it's reciprocated. Recognizing that I have no control over other people, and if I want to continue doing things for people who don't do things for me, it then becomes my issue (and FYI: I'm not referring to anyone reading this!).

So yesterday I was kind of mired in it and trying to figure out ways to go about minimizing my disappointment in others. And then the phone rang, and it was my son. He was calling to see if I wanted to go Moe's today for lunch (after WW, I usually treat myself to whatever I want for lunch as a "reward"). You should know that Ryan HATES this place; it's my favorite, and when I can convince him to go with me, he usually has gotten food from somewhere else and brings it in. I was so surprised that he was even mentioning it that I said "But you hate Moe's!" and he said "I know, but you love it.... and since I didn't get to come home this weekend I'd like to spend some time with you!"

I really almost started crying. It was such a little thing, but it meant so much to me.

And restored my faith in the idea that sooner or later, it comes back around.

5 comments:

G4 said...

I guess I never thought about women validating themselves by their marital status. When I read that the first time, I substituted "by their weight", and I only read it correctly just now.

I agree that the leader should have modeled better. But the truth is that heavy or light, feeling better about yourself makes you more attractive. Lots.

Any ideas how you can get more exercise too?

Good luck!

MyThreeBlogs said...

I have so many body image issues that it's crazy - don't forget I was married to a man who would notice the PMS bloat & coment on it... So the idea that if I was in a place that was suppose to be supportive of women losing weight - and NOT relating it to her own feeling good about herself, happy & healthy... but to GETTING MARRIED... Well, it would freak me right out. (Wait. How long is that sentence?)
That's really dreadful.
And the Ryan story is wonderful - it's just the sort of thing you HOPE your kids say to you...

Anonymous said...

Ack, everyone's going to blogger!! And I'm trying to lose weight now, too, although not with WW because I went for a month a year or so ago and didn't like it. But good job on the six pounds!! That's a huge start!! I only seem to move the scale in microscopic amounts.

What a good son you have!

And what I like about Blogger is that you can list everyone you read while on Xanga you can only list people to which you subscribe. Or is that not true?

Tracy said...

I'm not sure about that, CHG -- but I really haven't figured out all the ins and outs of Blogger yet... I play around with it when I can, and I know there's still a lot left for me to "discover" -- there are definitely plusses and minuses over here....!

Anonymous said...

Well done on the 6lb. I'm still trying to work out how I can go to the gym, eat healthily and still GAIN 2lbs, Mind you I'm already married so I guess it must be okay :-)

Isn't wonderful when kids do something nice for you off their own back? I think you should send Ryan over here to give my pair lessons.