Brotherly Love

Not really sure how to begin this post.

Everything sounds so trite.

The reality is that last Tuesday my brother-in-law, Tom, lost his younger brother in an unexpected and tragic way. The aftermath of this has been beyond anything I've experienced, as I've seen my sister, brother-in-law, and his older brother try to make sense of it all. In my never-ending quest to make things right for everyone I care for, this has thrown me for a loop. So instead, I'm learning to just be there. And listen.

At the memorial service on Friday, Tom and his brother Rob gave beautiful eulogies. Tom gave me permission to write about this experience as a way to honor Chris. Because it's not my story to tell, and his eulogy was so moving and beautiful, I decided to post that instead:

FOR CHRISTOPHER MATTHEW....

A brother is someone you take for granted. After all, they've always been there. Through the vicissitudes and drama which was our lives, Christopher was always there when I needed him most.

Today I'm seeing pictures of him as he was in his youth - an innocent time before all that has come to pass.

I will find life without him lonelier. He has though left lots of memories, memories of our childhood and of growing up together.

I fondly recall the games we played, the places we went and the secrets we shared.

I have memories of playing football and going to parties together.Together, we contemplated the future, and the favor and chance of life.

In sunnier times, we were each other's keeper.

As a man, Christopher was noble, brave and above all, forgiving. His life became the tumult of a disease which took away all that he ever hoped for.

A brave soul, he raged back against the storm, often alone and without true bearing.

He sometimes found refuge on the shores of salvation and the glimmer of light though the clouds of despair.

Clutching the rocks with all that he had, the undertow was often too strong to counter.

Galant was his struggle to reclaim the erosion ----- but often only to find he remained adrift.

In the final moments, the disease made the years to come seem waste of breath.

That was not Christopher.

I admire his courage and resolve, and only hope that I can forge ahead with such fortitude.

None of this shall ever be in vain ----- nothing good and true ever really dies.

In the days ahead and from a divine place, he will always be his brother's keeper.

In my sadness though, there is consolation in the thought that so many other people cared for him, too. That's the kind of thing that makes life worthwhile, the warm, shining light of love and friendship --- even in the darkest of moments.

For us, he'll come alive through the passage of conversation, the words of a song or a visit to a familar place.

He is really not gone as long as we remember him.

In the promise of an eternal place, we will see you on the other side.You have now crossed over into sanctity of Heaven - Put out your hand and be led by the Lord into that place where the sun always shines.

The restlessness of this life is over for you now, Chris. Live eternally in the peace of the Lord and know that many are the lives you touched when you were with us.

-Thomas Hennessy 2007

Rest in the peace you've been searching for, Chris.